It takes goodbye to kill people

Since 2015 I feel like I suddenly left by a lot of people. Melisa suddenly told me she’ll go to Bali. Then Zika, Nurita, Deddy, Cornel, Asma, Pida…. recently Ncek, Yudith. Hennisa will go to Jakarta, too this evening. Three people left in 3 weeks. I can’t stop it because it’s their destiny, their future. I hope you’ll get what you desire, what you need, and maybe what you wanted.

And just right now I got a news that Mba Mila’s gone.. I remember seeing her sit on the stair at her graduation. Just she and one of her friend. I should’ve accompanied her that day. It’s like I was pulled back to the moment when my uncle’s gone, 5 yeats ago. Regret is the only thing left in me. I didn’t do what I should and what I can do. And today I even can’t see her for the last time. It shocked me, because just like Linda said to me “I thought she’s a survivor.” But at last, you had achieved what you fight for, your bachelor degree. It made you a survivor. At last you won’t feel the pain anymore, you don’t need to be in hospital again. At last, you’ll be at ease. 

Yeah people come and go. When someone’s born, someone else will leave this world. I also can’t stop it, even interfree. It’s fate.

I ever saw a quote from poemporn in instagram. It said, “It doesn’t take a sharp knife to kill people, just a simple goodbye.” 

And I was killed mutlltiple times. And still… will be killed multiple times…


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