Birthday

When you hear the word birthday which is something pop up in your mind? Cakes? Wishes? Happiness? Laugh? Candle? Baloons? Hmmm what else? Ah surprise? Yes, those are the identical things to birthday.

Those are not the things that related to my birthday anymore. I don’t know, I just… I’ve just thought that my birthday is the moment to do self introspection which I just did it. I think about my attitude, my character, my personality. Was it bad or was it good for people around me? I think about what I should do to make myself better? Which ones I should change? Which ones I should keep doing it? Well, to be honest I think about whatever happened, whatever I’ve faced in my life.

I also think about my life plans. What is the purpose of my life? What I want to do and what I should do to get it.

This is the 8th year I celebrate my birthday far from home. This year is the second time I let it pass with no common celebration. I don’t realize since the day I move to another city for my senior high school until now, it’s been eight years… I don’t believe it’s been so long. This year I dedicated my brithday letter to everyone, literally everyone.

To the ones who always be there for me, whether you feel forcefully being next to me or not. To the ones who always help me, support me, comfort me. To the ones who always hate me, underestimate me, misunderstand me. To the ones who loved me. To the ones who always love me. To the ones who envy me, but I’m not sure.. I’m just a tiny piece of cake to them. To people who think they’re my enemies, to my used to be friends, to my friends, to my family, my parents, to my brothers and sisters. To the strangers I met and talked to. To my lovers, to my ex lovers.. To the ones I’ve lost.

Thank you.

Thank you for all the things you’ve done to me. Thank you for loving me, hating me. Thank you for helping me, avoiding me. Thank you for staying, and thank you for leaving me. Thank you for being my family, my friend, my lover, my enemy. Without you I couldn’t see the best and the worst. Without you I wouldn’t know the positive and the negative parts in this life. Thank you because in the end, it all became something good to me. You gave me lessons, you made my life more colorful, and you helped me to build my character, my personality. You built me. Without you I was nothing. Without you I couldn’t reach my life in this 23rd year of age.

I know this is weird things to say in birthday. Birthday is supposed to be a happy moment, full of wishes, full of happiness, full of love.. In their birthday, people say their wishes, hopes, their prayers.. But do you forget that weird is my middle name? I will use my special day, this year, to remind myself that I didn’t write this story alone. I should thank them. Well, lastly, happy 23rd birthday, Dear..


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